Motherhood Diary

Pain and Pleasure of Being a Mother
Parental Guide to Handle Sibling Rivalry in Their Kids

Parental Guide to Handle Sibling Rivalry in Their Kids

If you are raising more than one kid, siblings disputes can arise at any point in your children lives. Children do not understand the value of the relationship, therefore fighting is a common phenomenon. As the children become teens, jealousy and sense of competition outgrows. Jealousy and sense of competition prompt teen sibling disputes. Even adults have bad relationship with siblings. Adult sibling dispute, or sibling rivalry, is caused by something bad that happened earlier in the life, or due to recent happenings.

Use reward and punishment techniques to stop children fighting. Reward them when they follow your instructions, such as taking them for outings, or giving them a new toy. As a punishment, don’t allow them to use the computer, TV or the toy.

Sibling fighting may be normal phenomena in a household, however, it may result to bad consequences. Consult a specialist if the aggression in your children is very high. Too much aggression could point to the attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) in children.

In the meanwhile, you can also talk to other people who face similar problem.

How to Handle Problems with Siblings: For Parents

If you are raising teens, you have to be aware that jealousy is very common.
Differences in performance in education, life skills and income lead to
jealousy, which is the main cause of teen sibling disputes. Your biased
treatment and comparison between the children may lead to severe consequences.

  • Fighting maybe verbal or physical, but in any case you have to don a moderator’s role.
  • You must make your children aware about what is acceptable behavior and what is unacceptable behavior.
  • When you see your children fighting, don’t overreact. Be calm and separate them. Don’t talk to them until they have cooled down.
  • Listen to the different versions of the story, but don’t take sides even though you find one of your children is at fault.
  • Tell your older child to love and care his/her younger brother/sister. Tell your younger child to respect his/her older sibling.
  • You must treat your children according to their age. Don’t expect a kid or teenager to understand everything.
  • Comparison is bad, but if you need to compare your children just point out the good things they both have.
  • If your children do not get along together, don’t make them do something together. This will only ensue fighting.
  • Try to find out the cause of fighting. When you know the reason, you can avoid the situation.
  • If your children are fighting over the same thing such as TV, computer, book or toy, tell them they cannot use it until they agree to use it together.
  • If your children begin to blame the other, tell them they both are at fault because one cannot clap with one hand.
  • Don’t let your older child to get away with everything, and don’t let your younger child take advantage of his young age.

Competition for parental love, attention and favor is another cause of teen
sibling rivalry. Attention seeking is natural, and what is unnatural is unfair
treatment of children based on his/her performance at school or home. Give fair
treatment to your children.

Do you find your kids’ sibling rivalry difficult to handle?

10 comments found

  1. It reminds me of my own sibling rivalry when I was a teenager. Sibling rivalry is very common. However, if parents do not come forward to handle the issue, the rivalry can last a lifetime.

  2. wow very helpful website. I like all post. This site all post is very informative. just highly recommend. thank you for share this information.

  3. This reminds me of my own sibling rivalry when I was in teens. Sibling rivalry is very common. However, if parents do not come forward to handle this issue rivalry can remain life long.

  4. Favouritism is one of the main causes of sibling rivalry. Many parents favour the child who performs well and is intelligent. This will have an adverse effect on a the child who performs poorly.

  5. I do not have any problems with my brother, however, I see a lot of people having issues with their brothers and sisters. I think the root of sibling disputes and rivalry lies in the childhood.

  6. Very Nice very helpful website.I like all post. this site all post is very informative. thank you for share this information.

  7. I am glad that you mention that the solution to this problem improves the quality of life since many siblings are already adults and do not forget these childhood fights and do not even look for each other. It is very sad.

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