Ways to help your child go through the end of a friendship
This is one of the very difficult moments our kids will have to endure . As children are learning their way in life and developing their personalities, they become attach to friendships, they treasure them and if for some reason these end, it can really take a toll on their self-steem and their sense of self. As parents, we must try our best to stay attuned to our children’s emotions, notice when there is a change in their mood or behaviour. “Negative” behaviour(there really isnt “negative” behaviour our children are merely trying to show a feeling, thought or concern they are feeling but are learning to express it in a health way) may be an indicator that our children are going through a difficult time and we have to be ready to listen and assist them without judgement.
Get to know your children’s friends
Inviting them to lunch or dinner is the perfect way to learn what kinds of friends are in your child’s circle. When you have a good relationship with your kid’s friends, it will make your child more confident talking to you about them and their relationship with them. If an issue arises, you’ll be able to support your child and reinforce your bond. You need to know your child’s friendship group to be able to support him or her navigate any possible breakdown.
Seek to look at the online activities for your child
Recently, my neighbourhood parents mistakenly accessed the facebook page of their daughter. The kid, 13, had forgotten to log out. They were shocked to see their daughter, otherwise sincere and compliant, displaying animosity to her father, teachers and siblings.
The initial response of parents was a tragedy. They reprehended her, they her. Finally only when the daughter stopped talking, the parents understood that the problem was getting out of their hands and had to opt for her to see a psychiatrist. From the above experience please follow the bellow tips;
- Avoid being judgemental towards your children, even if their acting hostile.
- Go for a gentle and understanding approach.
- Listen! Listen! Listen! Do not make assumptions to many of the facts.
Provide information of what friendships are all about
Friendships can be temporary and it may weaken or break all together over time. Have your child understand if a friend walks away, eventually another one will come and they may get along even more. Tell your child to welcome new friends, to be his or her wonderful self and to be patient as the right people for them will come along.
It is also a good idea to share your own friendship experiences with your child so he or she can relate and see how you have gone through breakups like these too and come out just fine in the end. Talk about that friend you once had, who is no longer with you but how that experience brought you to meet another wonderful friend.
Show them how to practice open minded thinking
Teach your children that there is not only one wrong or right answer but that everybody has their own opinion which should be respected. Thinking this way will aid them to see how their friends may have different perspectives and that is ok. A way to teach them to be open minded is by practising it yourself. Make the effort to no judge and show empathy and understanding. If your children see you acting this way, they will learn that this approach is the best one to use. Children model us all the time, they are watching all the time so it is important that if we want to educate them a certain way then we must practice it ourselves first.
Points to Remember
- We cannot deny that parents are not able to solve all of the problems a child faces but taking interest in their daily behaviour and mood can definitely give them an idea on how to assist them.
- Don’t ignore minor problems, they can be become a great problem later.
- A child is too young to handle his/her sufferings. When the pain of a child is not properly channelized, the troubled childhood will create a psychologically weak person.
- It is wrong to expect your child to understand you and impose your ideas.
- True stories of bravery and courage will help your child overcome the pain of friendship breakup. When you share such stories, it will help them understand things like this can happen in everyone’s life.
- As a parent, you must always be a supporter and always willing to help your child to make new friends.
- When you are with your children, you have to become children to understand their young minds. You have to take interest in their games and play games with them.
- Help your child to welcome new friends, and mold him/her to become a welcoming person, ready to accept challenges in life.
If you want to solve your children’s problems remember these tips. You must always ready to learn the way to help your child. A child cannot overcome pain and handle friendship breakup by himself/herself. Parents must always be ready to help their child show way in their life. The minds of children are so tender that they are easily carried away by the desire for revenge. A child cannot differentiate rights and wrongs. As a parent, you need to channelize your child’s anger and properly handle his/her emotions. You have to have a re-conciliatory approach. You must inculcate your child with ethics, morality and righteousness.